Have you ever wondered why you do what you do — as if one part of you knows exactly what you wish you'd do, but some other part takes over and does something else entirely? Or have you ever found yourself feeling something you wish you didn't, then working really hard to talk yourself out of feeling that way?
We all have a multitude of parts within us, and sometimes certain parts of us do and feel things that other parts of us wish they wouldn't. But what if you could understand exactly why you do and feel what you do? What if you could find compassion for every part of you, and at the same time help them break free from the patterns of thinking and behavior that keep you feeling stuck?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is both a framework for understanding our behavior and an evidence-based transformational model used to balance internal conflict, release burdens or agreements that no longer serve us, and integrate parts of us we've previously buried or hidden (either because we devalue them or because they've been wounded by others). After some time experiencing the benefits of the IFS model, you will be able to practice it on your own.
(IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of the IFS Institute.)
Internal Family Systems
(how I help you become more you)
Allender Story Methodology
Have you ever thought of your life as an epic story?
The truth is we all have a story — and whether we realize it or not, the way we tell that story impacts how we relate to ourselves and others. The more aware we become of where we've been and where we're going, the more empowered we will be to live today in ways that honor our own beauty and potential. What might it be like to better know, engage, and even come to love your own story?
The Allender Center at The Seattle School is an organization committed to addressing the impact of harm on individuals, relationships, and communities through the engagement of story. Its methodology is designed to help us engage with kindness the places in our story where we feel shame and contempt, in order to facilitate hope and transformation.
(The Allender story methodology was developed by Dr. Dan Allender, co-founder of The Allender Center at The Seattle School.)
Have you ever noticed your body and heart don't always agree with what your mind believes to be true? Much of the western world values cognitive reasoning above other ways of knowing and experiencing — and it’s true that what you think matters — but your mind is not the only part of you that impacts what you do and who you are becoming. Real and lasting transformation involves the whole of us: mind, body, soul and spirit.
One crucial part of addressing any obstacles to transformation is engaging how we live in (or attempt to escape) our bodies. In some cases, bodies remember past events and respond as if the very same danger is imminent even after the original threat has passed. For some, trauma is systemic and ongoing; therefore, the body needs compassionate care while the threat to safety continues. Often, in an attempt to feel more safe, we learn to ignore what our bodies are telling us — which, unfortunately, leads to more stress and disease. By teaching you to be mindful and attune to your own body, I can help you identify what kind of care will be most beneficial. Instead of being at war with your body or reacting to stress in compulsive or harmful ways, you can learn to listen to and even love your own body, receiving and responding to its wisdom with kindness, agency, and integrity.
Another important aspect of transformation is engaging matters of the soul and spirit. Because no part of you functions without impacting and being impacted by the rest, it's difficult to approach matters of the mind and body without also addressing spiritual development. I draw upon a variety of tools, traditions, and research, including the contemporary Enneagram Of Personality, the ancient Celtic and Christian mystical traditions, and the work of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Gertrud Mueller Nelson, and Dr. Bill Plotkin (to name just a few). Sometimes people ask me if my coaching is faith-based, and my answer is both yes and no; while my own faith has been shaped by Christianity and I aim to follow the life and teachings of Jesus, I have no interest in persuading my clients to adopt a particular set of beliefs or expression of faith. For me, loving you well means creating a safe space for you to name the truth about where you are now, to deepen and heal your relationship to your own soul, and to discover what spiritual growth looks like for you.